Perhaps surprisingly, he made no attempt to snap back, but rather he frowned thoughtfully. "My death- such as it was- changed nothing," he said. "Surviving it, however..." He crossed his arms over his chest, contemplating. "The dead can learn nothing. The dead cannot change. But it spite of my own actions- and perhaps, my own intentions- I am still very much among the living, and thus I have leave to reflect."
"The lesson the Guildmaster attempted to teach me at the Bramble Patch cracked the illusion that I had crafted around myself that allowed me to believe my actions were righteous and justified. But instead of taking it to heart, I allowed the wound to my pride to fester, until I lashed out like a fever-maddened beast. Then my defeat at the hand of the adventurer shattered completely what the Guildmaster had cracked, and my arrival here afforded me the time to examine the pieces."
"Stripped of the illusion of my own making, I saw myself for the fool I was. What I had called the ultimate courage was naught but a mark of how little I valued my life. From the beginning, I knew that my crusade of vengeance against the Lancer's Guild was one that would end in my victory or my death, and I have now come to realize that I did not truly care which. Yet even so, each time I faced the true possibility of my death- by the tusks of the Lord of the Bramble Patch or the hand of the adventurer- I was consumed by fear and panic. In truth, I am naught but a worthless coward, a broken man rightly left to lie among the other broken things on this Isle. The sole saving grace left to me is the knowledge that broken things can, perhaps, be mended."
"I shall not lie; even now, I am not particularly sorry for my actions. But no longer do I attempt to justify them as some sort of righteous quest either. They were naught more than an attempt at petty vengeance, and any attempts to claim them as something more would be mere excuses. A subtler man might attempt to do so, to gain sympathy and pity, deserved or not, but deception is not a hallmark of the lancer's art, nor is it a talent that I have ever possessed; I prefer to speak plainly and directly, and so I have done. This much shall not change, even should we eventually prove ourselves to each other; I'll not hold my tongue should the recipient of harsh words be deserving of them."
"What I shall do is to work to prove myself, and observe as you do the same. Words, as it is said in the far east, are no more than air. By our actions may we both judge and be judged." He nodded respectfully to Ben, indicating that this last bit was more directed to him.
CW- Suicidal ideation
"The lesson the Guildmaster attempted to teach me at the Bramble Patch cracked the illusion that I had crafted around myself that allowed me to believe my actions were righteous and justified. But instead of taking it to heart, I allowed the wound to my pride to fester, until I lashed out like a fever-maddened beast. Then my defeat at the hand of the adventurer shattered completely what the Guildmaster had cracked, and my arrival here afforded me the time to examine the pieces."
"Stripped of the illusion of my own making, I saw myself for the fool I was. What I had called the ultimate courage was naught but a mark of how little I valued my life. From the beginning, I knew that my crusade of vengeance against the Lancer's Guild was one that would end in my victory or my death, and I have now come to realize that I did not truly care which. Yet even so, each time I faced the true possibility of my death- by the tusks of the Lord of the Bramble Patch or the hand of the adventurer- I was consumed by fear and panic. In truth, I am naught but a worthless coward, a broken man rightly left to lie among the other broken things on this Isle. The sole saving grace left to me is the knowledge that broken things can, perhaps, be mended."
"I shall not lie; even now, I am not particularly sorry for my actions. But no longer do I attempt to justify them as some sort of righteous quest either. They were naught more than an attempt at petty vengeance, and any attempts to claim them as something more would be mere excuses. A subtler man might attempt to do so, to gain sympathy and pity, deserved or not, but deception is not a hallmark of the lancer's art, nor is it a talent that I have ever possessed; I prefer to speak plainly and directly, and so I have done. This much shall not change, even should we eventually prove ourselves to each other; I'll not hold my tongue should the recipient of harsh words be deserving of them."
"What I shall do is to work to prove myself, and observe as you do the same. Words, as it is said in the far east, are no more than air. By our actions may we both judge and be judged." He nodded respectfully to Ben, indicating that this last bit was more directed to him.