Don't Be Afraid To Be Who You Are - Isle Side

[missrecalled_mods]

The Rain Rain Rain Came Down Down Down

Just over a week after the Isle visit people would find themselves drawn outside. The weather was finally getting warmer, but that wasn't all of it. A strange foul smelling - and fairly toxic - mold had begun growing in some of the classrooms. Thankfully not the ones where people were sleeping but it was still enough to make it unpleasant to remain indoors. Some might blame the growth of the mold on a certain obsessive compulsive cleaner, though others might say that he just discovered it and accidentally gave it access to oxygen and such.

Whichever the reason, sleeping outside for a few days was sounding like a better and better plan with every passing minute. Even the drizzling weather couldn't make the indoors terribly appealing for anyone with a sense of smell.

And it was over night on one such night that the rain was... different. Warmer and a bit tingly. And some people would awaken quite a bit older than when they fell asleep, perhaps. Their memories might have caught up with their age, or might come to them slowly. However it happens, there might be some very confusing moments as those who seemed to be young just a moment before are now... less so.

Gift In Time Gift In Time Nary A Reason Nary A Rhyme Gift In Time!

Weirdly, there was something good to come not long after the rain. In addition to aging some folks up, it also seemed to wash away the worst of the mold, allowing people to return indoors once more. And each of them would find, soon after, in some place that they considered theirs... a small gift. It was rare that positive things happened on the Isle, but perhaps this was a sign of things to come.

Or perhaps even a broken clock is right once in a blue moon...

Comments

[ubuntu_programmer]

Ian's eyes closed as they listened. It was almost like blows, the words. Because they described something too familiar. Too many people with stories like that. Well, without the tasers. Ian took a deep breath, eyes still closed. "A moment will not help at this point."

[mist_the_point]

Foulques nodded curtly, then took a deep breath and continued. "They also stole his charger, effectively 'starving' him, for lack of a better term. Thankfully he had another tucked away in an odd corner of his room, but even then he was forced to work until his absolute limit and all but collapsing trying to get to it; its cord was much shorter than his proper one, and resting on a nearby shelf was the only way it could reach."

"His room itself is another thing. He spoke of his fellow mammets having 'green rooms' where they would sometimes meet guests, but Sun's room was an absolute mess and clearly not meant to be seen by outsiders. Rather like this place, but more colorful. Bits of broken glass and machinery lying about, half-torn down curtains, random toys and brick-a-brack scattered haphazardly, dust and cobwebs in every corner they could find purchase, even the broken forms of two much simpler mammets- 'staffbots' I believe he called them- amongst the junk. Whether the room was torn up by Moon in a fit or whether the staff deliberately dumped things broken or unwanted there, I don't know, but neither would surprise me, and the end result is the same."

"He's also been avoiding maintenance as apparently the path to the workshop is dark, and he fears that Moon's issues will prove to be too much. Those exposed mechanisms on the back of his head are meant to have a covering piece- also taken by the staff who couldn't even be arched to install it-, and I doubt he's ever been properly cleaned in his short life. Granted age rather less significant when one is made rather than born, but he's less than a year old. This has been his entire reality."

"The last two things are relatively minor in comparison, but compound all else by leaving him isolated. The other mammets apparently fear him and haven't actually spoken to him. This much I believe to be a misunderstanding that could be corrected with naught but some stern words, but as we are as far from the Pizzaplex as it's likely possible to be, we have no way of administering such. And the last, he seems to be unable to leave the area of the daycare, though unlike the staff's very deliberate abuses, I do not think that was intentional, as he spoke of having gone to various other parts of the building before. It may be a symptom of the damage done to Moon, or an issue of its own, though we likely won't know until you examine him properly."

He took another deep breath, exhaled slowly through his nose, but even so, his next words were all but snarled. "Gods help me, but if I ever encounter any of those bustards did this to him, I'll kill them!" The sheer venom in his tone indicated that that wasn't a figure of speech in the slightest. Another long breath, then two, and he managed to reign in his anger. "For good or ill, though, my rage is of no help at present, unlike your skills, which might be. You now know his story, or parts of it at the least. Though with the knowledge that there may well be more I don't yet know... tis a grim tale indeed, much like the one you told me." Except this one had already happened.

[ubuntu_programmer]

It took Ian a few minutes before they could respond, hands clenched in front of them, eyes still closed. "I wish that I could say my only familiarity with such stories is in fiction." Though finding out how much fiction is apparently real... They shook their head. "Details differ but... it is far too familiar a story. And I wish it wasn't. Programing won't be enough to fix this, I can help certainly... but more than tech support... I suspect what Sun needs is an accomplice," they said softly.

A deep breath. "There are people who are allies, who stand on the sidelines and cheer for someone, cheerlead them. People who are with them after they are shoved down to help patch them up. And allies are important. People who see the reason you have been shoved down more than they see you. Generally they care, but at the end of the day, allies get to go home. Back into their safe little bubbles."

"Then there are friends. People who genuinely care about you, not because of whatever minority you belong to but because they love you. And they're the ones you can really open up to, the ones you can talk to, the ones you can tell about your darkest moments. They care about you but... At the same time there can be distance, even with close friends. They care about you and worry about you, but you care about them back. So much so that to keep them safe... you o what you think is best from them. You close off the parts that hurt the worst because there is nothing they can do to help and knowing they can't help will just hurt them, without being able to fix anything. And that... over time... can become pushing them away. You tell yourself it is for their sake, and maybe they are trying to be considerate and back off thinking that it means that you need space and you're both so well meaning that you wind up alone again." A hard swallow.

"Not knocking friends, of course. I love my friends. But there are things I've never told them. I mean, why would I? Things that happened in the past that they can't fix." Because they were all too moral, Ian hoped, to give into the temptation to fix an old hurt that didn't actually successfully kill anyone. Going back to save Addison's life was one thing. Going back to be there for Ben when he was feeling alone as a kid so he'd have a support network, being there for Ian so that maybe they didn't try to... It wasn't the reason Quantum Leap existed. They were fine after all that. Really. And besides, changing things like that could have untold ripple effects that were off the scale of even Ziggy's ability to calculate. It was why Ben had to tread so carefully around Addison's father...

"But an Accomplice..." At least there was no need to try and wedge a sports metaphor into the discussion. "An Accomplice could be someone who started out as a friend or an ally or someone else going through something similar or even a stranger who was there at the wrong moment but is doing their very best to make it the right moment." A deep breath. "An accomplice is someone who puts themselves on the line, puts themself at the same risks you are at to be there with you and try to help you. Sometimes it makes a friendship stronger, turns an ally or a stranger into a friend at the end of the day. But sometimes an accomplice is there for a pivotal moment and then you never see them again. Because the thing is... what happens after can be life changing, but it isn't the point. The point is that moment, that one intense moment when everything was crashing down, when everything was falling apart and someone else was there with you. In the same danger. Working together to get you both through. Not a hero on a white horse riding in to vanquish a villain.... but someone who made the braver choice not to stand between you and danger, but to stand with you in the danger."

Ian took a deep breath again then finally opened their eyes and looked at Foulques. "If the people who tormented Sun showed up here and you fought them and I helped Sun hide... maybe we're friends to Sun, maybe we're allies. But neither of those things are what Sun needs to stop the nightmares. What Sun needs is for us to stand with him and help him stop them. If somehow magically you were back in my childhood and beat up all my old bullies and they never bullied me again... I would be safe from them, sure. But what about the next bully? Or the next." Ian shook their head. "Killing the ones who tormented Sun might make Sun safe from them, and will probably make you feel better, like you did something good for a friend. But in the back of Sun's mind? Will alway be the thought that this is proof his negative self image was right all along. If even you don't have faith that he can be part of his solution... then why should he think he can. If you really want to help him, if we really want to help him... We need to stand with him. Not behind him in support, not in front to protect, but with. We have to be willing to step into that same danger, put ourselves on the line... With Sun. Not for Sun."

And.... Ian had no clue if that would make any sense to Foulques, but they had had to try.

"I'll do what I can with the programming to fix what the hacker did," Ian said, sitting up more. "But Sun is a person and while I probably could program away a lot of his fears... it would also program away him. And that I refuse to do. And I hope you'll respect that."

[mist_the_point]

Foulques tilted his head slightly in confusion at the term 'accomplice'. He'd only ever really heard the term used before with regards to one who aided in committing a crime, but it didn't sound like that was what Ian was referring to. Thankfully, an explanation followed directly after, and he listened as they detailed the differences between an ally, a friend, and an accomplice in this context.

He nodded his understanding of the term ally. Though he was more used to hearing it in terms of nations than individuals, the definition still fit. Two or more who were united in common cause, enjoyed cordial relations, and who would aid one another in times of danger, but in the end, retained a degree of separation.

Friends too, he understood the definition of, though he frowned as he nodded. Those he had thought were his friends had proved to be nothing of the sort. And that betrayal had left a deep wound, one that left him fearful of using the term again. Naming a thing made it real, made it something that could be broken or taken away. So perhaps in his own way, he was following the rest of the definition Ian laid out as well.

The definition of accomplice though... struck home in a way they couldn't know. It made a wonderful and terrible sort of sense, and explained why the wound had cut so deep. But he allowed them to finish without interrupting.

The last bit, however came as something of a surprise, and it was obvious in Foulques' expression. "Truthfully I hadn't even considered the possibility that you might be able to do more than correct the damage done by the attacker," he said. "But rest assured that I would never ask you to do such a thing. Tis perilously close to Tempering, an ability used by entities called Primals to impose their own will on unwitting victims." His expression turned grim. "And though the results of such alterations as you mentioned would not be nearly so dangerous, still... suffice to say that death is considered a mercy in cases of Tempering. The person who was once there is gone; there is only the will of the Primal."

He shook his head with a sigh, before getting back to the meat of the explanation Ian had offered. "I believe I understand the rest of what you've said, however. Parts of it better than you could know. I had once asked those I thought to be my friends to stand with me in such a manner, you see, and yet when the time came..." He trailed off though, with a thoughtful frown, reconsidering.

"Perhaps I should begin nearer the beginning," he said after a moment. "As a young man, I joined the Lancer's guild. As a Duskwight, I faced much prejudice and had to put in twice the effort to be considered as skilled as my fellows, but nonetheless I persevered, and was proud of the opportunity to stand in defense of my homeland as a Wood Wailer. Over time I made a number of friends in the guild and believed that I had at last found a place where I would be valued and not judged for simply being born to the 'wrong' race."

"But as noble as the Wood Wailers' mission might profess to be, they do not provide. Our wages were not enough to sustain us, and out of desperation, I conspired with a number of my closest friends to steal from the guild's coffers. We were not caught, but it quickly became clear that it had been done from within, and suspicion hung heavy over the guild. At last, unable to bear the guilt any longer, I convinced my friends to join me in confessing. If we stood together, I reasoned, not only would our punishment be less severe, but perhaps we might provide impetus for positive change if we explained why we had acted so."

"I asked them to stand with me, and each swore that they would. And yet when the time came, and I stepped forward and confessed... they did not join me. And more than that, they actively turned against me. 'Of course it was the Duskwight! It all makes perfect sense!' I pleaded with them to speak the truth, but not a one did, and many pelted me with insults and called me foul names that I don't care to repeat. Men and women who just moments before I had called friends, brothers and sisters in arms, who I had trained, worked, and fought beside for years...!"

The last bit was snarled, but it trailed off into a sigh. "...I thought them true until the moment I felt the spearpoint at my back. Thus was I alone charged, convicted, left to rot in a dungeon, and then banished upon my release. And set upon the path that would lead me to being the vengeance driven madman I described to you earlier."

"I will not betray Sun or Chara in such a manner, however. Granted, I highly doubt that those who would target them would be nearly so eager to act against me, as such cowards prefer to prey upon those they see as weak, but should the moment come, they will not stand alone. I swear it."